I must begin this recap by saying I am in a terrible mood. As I write this, it is approximately 1,000 degrees in my un-air conditioned, pre-war apartment. My dog is currently sprawled on the bathroom floor, relishing the cool, porcelain tile. And I am upset with myself because in addition to the fact that I decided to cook an actual dinner on an actual stove in this heat, I also stupidly decided to take a peek at Twitter while The Bachelorette was airing on the East Coast. And lo, the news I bring you is sad, and yet…not entirely unexpected. That’s right. Beloved normal person Chris Evans, AKA Ben Z. has been eliminated. Honestly, I have no other reason to continue watching this high production value Valtrex ad other than inertia. He was my favorite, favorite. Like, genuinely. He seemed like a good guy. Who is there left to root for?
But first, before the saddest of eliminations, we pick up where we left off last week, with Walmart Ryan Gosling confronting Kaitlyn about her extracurricular activities with Nick. I don’t think Kaitlyn sleeping with one of the contestants is a big deal, because I don’t actually know anyone in real life who waited until their honeymoon to “do the deed.” But I do think it’s shitty to sleep with someone as fundamentally untrustworthy as Nick, and it is my vain hope that when Walmart Ryan Gosling eventually finds out the truth, he will be upset not over the act of having sex but because Nick is such a POS. Kaitlyn discusses how difficult it is to have such deep feelings for multiple people and not wanting to hurt anyone, and I do feel genuinely bad for her because that can’t be easy and she seems legitimately sad.